I come from a very conservative Indian, close-knit family. My father had a younger brother who passed away a few years ago, and it deeply affected everyone—especially my father, since they were very close.

Even though we live far away, my family has always supported my aunt (my late uncle’s wife) and her son, whom I care about a lot. My aunt and her son live in a joint family setup. She was also very close to my mom—they had a strong bond, almost like sisters.

Recently, I started noticing strange dynamics between my parents. Something felt off. After paying closer attention and connecting things, I discovered that my father is having a sexual relationship with my aunt.

This has completely shaken me. My mom has had suspicions and has complained in the past, but I always dismissed it as normal marital conflict. Now I realize she may have been dealing with this alone while my father repeatedly gaslit her and made her seem unreasonable.

What makes this even harder is that I have substantial proof, including audio recordings that clearly confirm the relationship—so there’s no scope for denial. I feel hurt, confused, and honestly ashamed. I don’t know how to process this or what to do next. I can’t imagine telling my mom, but I also feel like she deserves to know. At the same time, this could completely destroy the family, especially given our cultural background and the joint family dynamics involved.

TL;DR: I’m from a conservative Indian family. I found out my father is having an affair with my widowed aunt (his late brother’s wife), and I have solid proof. My mom suspects something but doesn’t know the truth. I’m torn between telling her, confronting my father, or staying silent. What should I do? Should I tell my mom, confront my father first, or stay out of it? How do I handle this in a way that doesn’t cause maximum damage, especially in a joint family setting?