After almost 10 years, I found out my daughter is not mine, biologically.

Update: 1/21/23 quick one. Not much to say yet. Actually spent an evening with welcome Company. Test is still en route. I live i a small community with no hospitals that provide dna testing. Test won’t arrive until Wednesday. Hope to have results by Friday

Update: 1/19/2023 Not much else to update today. Waiting on dna test to arrive. Bitter house. Will have more throughout the weekend as kids will be gone and we can finally have it out with no tiny ears to hear. Will record audio for everything.

Update: 1/18/2023 I have a DNA test ordered. Wife is in search of alternative residence. She wants couples therapy. I considered shortly until more came to light. I commented a few times below that she had been sending likely bio dad updates with school pictures. Also went to see him 5 years ago and took him to lunch.

First off, I haven't used this throwaway account in six years. I am surprised it still is active. Anyway. I got together with my wife about 15 years ago. She came with a premade family of a daughter and two boys. Then in October of 2012 she got pregnant. We weren't trying to conceive, but weren't actively trying to prevent either. The date of conception seemingly matched up and a beautiful baby girl was born August of 2013. I have been led to believe until this last Saturday that she was 100% mine and I never questioned it. But over the weekend I took our youngest son(stepson, but you all know I see him as mine) to a show choir event and met up with an old friend from around the time of my daughter's birth. A friend I met through my wife. This friend and I had a few drinks and she said she needed to get something off her chest that she's been holding secret for years and told me everything. I was shocked to say the least. The next day I called and confronted my wife and initially she denied it, but admitted to having sex with the actual father. I hung up on her and I had three hours to drive home with my son, all the while ignoring her calls. When I got home she then pulled me aside away from the kids and confessed all.

This little girl is my world and I do not have any intention of turning my back on her. It's not her fault that this happened. But Her mother now wants me to try to move past her indiscretion and stay together. Stating what we have built since is strong, and I shouldn't tell my daughter about this as the real father had/has no intentions of being a part of her life.

I do not think I can forgive her for this. It's too big. I am so angry right now at her and all her friends that knew but kept silent. I can't leave because I don't want her to state that I abandoned my family. I'm afraid that if I do keep this secret from my daughter that she will one day find out and hate me for it. If I stay, I can't talk to anyone about it, they will be confused and astounded that I stuck around and it would make me feel like less of a man. I would bottle it up and let it eat me up and then rage quit my life.

Update: My son was at his cousin's house for a sleepover after his event. I went out with my aunt and uncle and the friend showed up at the pub we went to. When My aunt and uncle went home I stayed to chat more.