A few days ago, my husband and I got into a stupid argument over dinner. Long story short: he screamed at me, swore at me, threw a burger and paper towel roll at me, and then grabbed me by the collar in front of our baby girls.

He told me he put his hands on me bc I got in his face (I did get into his face to tell him stop it right now, our girls are watching, and didn’t want them to hear any more of this).

I was so upset and shaken up, I calmly said to the girls, let’s get some stuff, we’re gonna go. He flipped out, screaming I was weaponizing our children. After he stormed off screaming into the bedroom and things were quiet for a few minutes, he came out begging me not to take them.

I asked him to leave. I told him to go to his parents, anywhere. That I didn’t want him anywhere near me. Since then, my 3 year old has mentioned a couple of times that mommy was sad because daddy screamed at her.

We haven’t spoken and are “playing nice” for the kids. I have been trying to get us some sort of counseling appointment but nothing available until next week. I cannot even look at him. 2 nights ago I texted him while I was running errands that I’d like to talk after the girls were in bed. The conversation we had was short and unproductive. Barely a conversation. I was fuming, but kept my voice down. I told him I was disgusted and ashamed of him and told him that he is going to fix this or I will find other options. He barely said anything, and to me seemed not very remorseful.

I can’t bear to look at him, let alone be in the same house with him with our beautiful girls who are only 1 and 3. I want him to leave. What do I do?