I ‘27M’ just found out my wife ‘26F’ went home with another man from the bar Saturday. We have two kids age 2 and 3. She doesn’t know I know. Is there any way we can come back from it?

Title says the bulk of it. My wife of 7 years had an affair Saturday night.

She said she was going to the bar with her dad and wound up sleeping with an ex boyfriend from 2018. I was home with our two young daughters, oblivious to what had happened until one of her friends confronted me today and broke the news.

The best part of it all is that I found out about it while on the way to meet the wife for the very rare child-free dinner and because I was afraid of making a mistake out of emotion,

I had to sit across from her with this knew knowledge in my stomach while she talked about our plans to start trying for baby number three (IUD comes out tomorrow), how much she’s enjoyed staying home raising our kids, and how much she’s appreciated everything I do to allow her to stay home and focus on being a mother to our little girls. I wanted to vomit.

I have tried my best to not let on that I know, but she was extremely lovey-dovey tonight and she is usually very disconnected with me and the kids when she is at home. Her friend made it clear that my wife is adamant she’s taking the secret to the grave, that the sex was unprotected (why did I say yes to the details!?), and that she’s continued talking to him this week.

The friend also said she’s fairly confident it was a one off mistake, but that she doesn’t seem to understand the gravity of what she has done to our family.

I am heartbroken for my children who will forever have their lives altered because of their mother’s decision. It’s burning a hole inside of me. I’m laying on the couch at 2AM shaking, still unable to process it, and terrified of what the next few days will bring.

I guess I’m halfway venting, but also looking for advice.

When I found out a handful of hours ago and realized there was no room for this to be a misunderstanding I immediately thought divorce was the only path forward. I can’t imagine I’ll ever trust her again.

On the other hand I love her. I feel bad for her in all of this somehow because she comes from a family where things like this happen. Her mom abandoned her when she was a kid and she has no real reliable family. I can’t see how she could possibly land on her own feet and I don’t want my babies to be put in bad circumstances because of her lack of options. The family she does have is where I’d assume she’d go but they are all drunks and drug abusers.

How do I move forward from here? I will survive whatever path I have to take, but what is the best path forward for my relationship with my little girls. I am lost.

Any advice is appreciated.