We’ve been 3 years together, a year and a half long distance right before marriage and we got married last May.

Our sex changed after due to the distance but I always struggled to communicate with him about my needs.

I have a higher drive than him and I used to be the one who initiates. He used to initiate in at first but

he rarely does it now; I communicated that with him and he changed for like a week and then back to normal.

I stopped initiating for a while because he has an excuse 9 times out of 10 that it’s either a bad timing, he’s not in the mood, or he’s tired from work. He also never agrees to makeup sex if we were on a fight mode, Now, it’s been a week when he haven’t touched me and as I said I stopped initiating unless he does. It was a hard week at work so I was understanding and I said I won’t ask him for sex until he’s able to.

I never ask him at night because he’s always tired from work. However, this week he works at night so we have all morning to play and have fun but still, he didn’t.

Today, he was taking a shower and I went in to pee. I found his cum in the toilet!! I found his phone in the toilet with him so he probably was watching porn there. He masturbated in the toilet while I’m right outside in front of him!! Why would he do that to me!! I asked him, why did you do this without me and we haven’t had sex in a week! He lied about cumming, he said I didn’t do it and believe what you wanna believe. And he said the reason why we didn’t have sex is because of the fight. We had a small fight yesterday but we were talking fine. I don’t understand. He knows how much I need sex and had he asked, I would never say no. On the contrary, I’d take the opportunity because as I said, I wait for him to initiate now to avoid problems. I would have loved it also so that we can makeup and be okay again. He knows that very well. I don’t understand and I kept crying non stop when he left to work. I feel so bad. I feel so stupid that I was very understanding and he, on the other hand, didn’t think about me for a second and just went to jerk off and please himself without me.

I’m just three months into my marriage and I already feel undesired and unwanted. I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel so hurt and I’m drained talking about this subject with him. I’m an attractive woman and I know this isn’t about me. It’s hurtful to the extent that I feel worthless and it’s hurting my ego right now. All I feel right now is that he is a selfish man who doesn’t give a shit about my needs or how he makes me feel.

I asked him more than once to see a marriage counselor or a sex therapist because apparently there is a problem in our communication especially when it comes to sex. He always refuses and says that the reason he is dismissive of my needs or sex in general is all the fights we have. I need advice because I’m so lost and hurt right now.