About 2 weeks after my surprise announcement, he stopped hugging me and kissing me like usual.

He stopped eating the meals I’d make for him after work and said he already ate some fast food or something.

I also noticed he had changed his lock screen which was a picture of us. Not sure if that meant anything to be honest. I found out 3 days ago. I went through his phone while he was in the shower and found texts messages, videos, pictures.

I’m sick to my stomach thinking about what I saw. I saw pictures of my mom in lingerie and he was replying with pictures of his penis, saying he was so hard for her.

I even saw a message of regret. He had said that maybe they should stop since he didn’t want to hurt me but my mom said I wouldn’t get hurt as long as they kept it all a secret.

But what angered me the most was the message she sent a few days ago. I’ll quote it here so anyone reading this can get an idea of how serious their affair is and has been.

“I love you so much. More than you think. You’ve helped me through the passing of my beloved ex husband and for that I truly thank you. I know it is hard for you to keep a secret like this, for me it is too. I love my daughter with all my heart but she will have to accept eventually that love is love and that the heart wants what it wants. Our hearts want each other. I thought that ever since my husband died, nobody would ever love me because i’m just an old woman but you have shown me to love my self and made me feel young and sexy again. let’s keep having fun and cherishing each other.”

I think it’s important to know my father passed away about 5 years ago from a stroke and my mother said she refused to get back into dating or romance because my father is her “forever love and only and only.” It’s absolute bullshit. I’m fucking crushed and it’s the fact that I know they had sex after that message because that was the night he didn’t come home until 1 in the morning due to “work and paid overtime.”

I actually threw up after reading that message. I have screenshots of the messages and have sent the videos to myself. Of course I deleted them on his phone so it looked like he never sent me anything. I’m numb. I’m confused. I’m hurt so bad. I cant even cry because I refuse to believe it. My husband is at work. I’m sitting on the edge of my bed writing this. Any advice?

Please. I’m desperate for just a little bit of anything really. This baby in me is honestly the only thing preventing me from confrontation. I’m afraid that confronting them now will cause too much stress and anger and I want the best for my child. At this point all I want to do is have my baby. Christmas is soon and I don’t want to ruin it for the family. I had also planned on announcing my pregnancy that day. Please help me.

(1)

Hello. Thank you all so much for the support. Really, you don’t understand how much it means to me to see so many strangers online wishing me well. I did not expect my post to gain this much attention. Around 2 hours ago, I confronted my husband when he came home from work. I told him that I know everything. I showed him the pictures and messages. At first he denied but when I showed him the evidence he started crying. Crying. Actually crying. He had the nerve to cry and get on his knees while holding and caressing my stomach. He told me that I would be a bad mother if I left him and raised my child without a father because a baby needs a dad in their life to fully grow mentally and physically. I honestly don’t know what to say at that except that it’s pure bullshit. I told him that I was contacting a lawyer in order to file for divorce. I had already packed my things before he came home. I’m currently staying at a local motel about 30 minutes away from my home. I’ve asked my cousin if I can stay with her for a few days and she has agreed. I’m getting everything sorted from there. My husband has been blowing up my phone with messages and apologies. He’s told me that if I take him back, he won’t do anything to hurt me ever again and he will cut all ties with my mother. As for her, I’ve also confronted her. I messaged her once I got to my motel. I told her I was pregnant and that she will never get to see her grandchild. She has not responded yet. I have also moved all my finances that I had in my husband and i’s shared bank account to my personal savings account. You don’t understand how grateful and appreciative I am for the support. I apologize that I could not reply to all the personal messages I’ve been receiving as well. It’s been hell. I’ll try my best to update if my mother does end up replying to me. Again, thank you all so much.

(2)

I am safe. I’m been receiving a lot of messages from those who are concerned for my well being. I am safe and I’m finally at my cousin’s house. Thank you all once again for the supportive messages and replies. I also would like to thank you all for the awards. They mean so much to me. My mental health is getting better every single day, all thanks to you amazing people for offered me advice and kind words. I have chosen to cut all ties off with my mother. She messaged me just a few hours ago and I honestly do not have the heart to reply. It’s also made me rethink my situation.

“I’m so sorry for the pain and hurt I’ve caused you. It was never meant to go this far. I love you so much, with every inch of my heart but you are not the victim. How dare you hold this against me and take away my right to see my one and only grand baby? You are cruel. If you do this, you will forever live life regretting. Please do not do this to me. I am your mother, I love you. I have ended it with (my husbands name.) We are no longer on speaking terms. Please push past this. A child cannot be raised without a father or grandmother. I love you, (my name which will not be shared.) Please call me.”

I cut out some more personal things from the text. I have a lawyer and am in the process of looking for an apartment. I have no intention on allowing either my former husband or mother into my child’s life but I’m also afraid that my child will grow up deprived of many child-father bonding experiences. This may be my last update as I want to move on and away from all of this. As for my husband, his messages have gone quiet which I am thankful for. My cousin has been helping through this and is currently the only family member other than my mom and husband who know about the affair. I’m very appreciative to all the support. I hope you all have an amazing holiday.