I know I'm a horrible human being, I just need to let all this out, my side of the story, maybe justify myself to believe I'm not the villain. In my country it's normal for the wife to go live with their in-laws after the wedding. My FIL is a widower so it was always just the three of us. I got married two years ago and like 8 months after my wedding my husband was transferred to a different department. It meant an increase in his salary but also a lot of travel. He didn't even ask for my opinion, he just took the new job.

At the beginning it was okay, he was gone a week at a time and I could handle it. I didn't love the idea but there was nothing I could do. And then they offered him a position in another city—it was "a better opportunity for his career." Once again he took the opportunity. The thing is, this city was 14 hours away from where we live. I at least assumed I could go with him but no, because there were other colleagues going as well and the company rented a house for them.

He was gone two weeks before our first anniversary. And when that day came, he didn't even call—he just sent me a text saying "happy anniversary we'll celebrate once I come back." I was pissed, angry and hurt. My FIL was always nice to me so when he saw me in the kitchen all puffy-eyed from crying, he asked me what happened and I told him everything. He offered to take me to dinner, and I almost declined but I was going to stay home and just cry anyway, so we went to dinner. My FIL is a very handsome man and he is not that old because he had my husband when he was only 16.

Anyway, he offered to buy me drinks. I'm not a big drinker but I thought why not. I don't know if I drank more than I could handle or if the drinks were too strong, but I was drunk—not passed out drunk, but enough to do something idiotic. When we got home, he helped me to my room because I tripped a little on the stairs. I swear I don't know what came over me, maybe the hurt of being basically abandoned by my husband, maybe because I tried not to think too much about sex during that time, or maybe because they really do look alike. But with the confidence of a drunk person, I asked him not to go when he helped me to my bed.

He sat down next to me and told me not to be sad, that my husband was doing what he thought was best for us. But I was so horny I didn't hear half of what he said so I kissed him. He was shocked and pushed me away, saying "I don't want you to regret this, you're drunk"—which in my mind sounded like "I want you too." So I kissed him again and well, shit happened.

We tried not to talk about it, thinking that was a mistake and that my husband didn't need to know about it. But not even a week later we were together again, and again, until I basically moved into his room. All this while my husband texted me once a week if I was lucky and made excuses for why he couldn't visit. I know what I did was wrong, but he basically abandoned me and didn't even show a gram of affection for me. At that point I didn't even care anymore because I was honestly falling in love with his dad.

We were living our normal lives until my husband called his dad and told him that the project or whatever they were doing was over and he was coming home, telling him to let me know to clean everything and prepare a nice dinner. We panicked a little because we were so submerged into our life that we forgot it was all a lie and very complicated.

He asked me what I wanted to do. He even said that if I wanted to go back to my husband he would let me, but that he loves me so whatever I decided he would agree to. But I also fell in love with him. I don't even think about my husband anymore. I thought about lying and just telling him I fell out of love with him and wanted a divorce, but if I want to be with his dad, I think it's better for him to just know what's going on instead of finding out elsewhere.

I'm sorry for the rant, I can't really talk to anyone about it and I can't sleep. On one hand I feel guilty, but on the other hand I feel justified—it was not my intention for all this mess to happen, it's at least half his fault. I just don't want Saturday to come because I know it's going to be ugly.