I’ll try to keep this as short as I can. I am having sex with my highly attractive female boss. Today makes time number 6 in three months. She finds a way to leave work and comes to my house, or I simply have sex with her in her office if all the workers leave early. This woman is the girl of my dreams and I have been chasing her since a year ago. I love her, but I have a weird feeling that I need to get sorted out. This is mainly me venting, so you can leave if it suits you at this point. The exciting paragraph is now over. But I still need help at the end if you’re willing to stick it out!

Now it might feel like it’s a dream come true at this point, but here’s where it gets insanely jacked up. She’s in a 2 year relationship with a man and she is living with him. Yeah, it gets more revolting. His daughter and also her daughter are living in the same house and they both love him. He does all these nice things for her like starts her car up every morning, makes her breakfast, tells her that he loves her. Strange I know all these details? It gets even worse. Last November, he caught an illness that disabled him from work. Btw, guess when her and I first had sex? The day after Thanksgiving. And this was AFTER his diagnosis.

He still intermittently has this illness, and to this day, is suffering and they don’t know what’s wrong with him. Doctors keep telling him that he’s fine. He keeps showing up when the illness seems to not be active. Almost like the illness is psychological but it disables him from physical activity. I’ve never met this guy. Just setting the record straight.

Anyway! Back to my story. So, now you know her family situation and what I’m dealing with here. She has told me she loves me and that she doesn’t feel for him the same way she feels for me. But she can’t leave him because he’s sick and both families would hate her for that, plus they would find out she cheated on him and make it even worse. And finally, their daughters love him to death.

As I type this, I am feeling the hatred in myself. Just proofreading it has set me off that I allowed myself to get in this situation. I’m just so involved with this woman and I can tell she is also involved with me. Both our minds are constantly thinking of each other. She finds ways to communicate with me secretly at home to tell me she’s thinking about me. Her office has a desk with things I've given her on it. If it’s been a while in the day and she hasn’t heard from me, she’s always finding ways to text me. But..... this is where it changes again.

The last two times we had sex (including today), there was a change in how things felt. Both times, the foreplay was hot. Omg the way she kissed me and wanted me. We could not stop rubbing up against each other. The sex was absolutely amazing. Her moans and the mess we made. Yeah.

But after the sex, it’s like the entire thing between us was completely over. Now, bear in mind, she had to leave my house at a certain time to not be suspicious. And that time was nearing. But there should be some intimacy right? .....if you cared about the person :( And that’s what it all amounts to. Could she be cold because she’s done horrible things and now she has to get home before her man does and make everything seem ok? Or is it because all I am to her is her sex puppet and now that she got some, she is done with me until next time? She hasn’t slept with him, according to her, since earlier than October (before he got sick).

Before you answer, yes, I know that this whole thing makes me a terrible person. Did I mention? I’m also married. Yeah! No, just kidding I’m single lol. But still. I can’t shake this woman and I don’t feel like she can shake me either. We both have tried to stop talking to each other and carry on with our lives. We ALWAYS end up kissing at her workplace and finding reasons to run in to each other. I’ve even talked to her and told her I didn’t want to do this anymore because it feels wrong. Then that did the reverse outcome and made us even stronger. Oh, AND I quit my job to try and escape her that way, she ended up bribing me back with an insane payraise, favoritism, and the sweetest heartfelt words of begging me back. I don’t know what to do or how to do it!! I am loving loving loving the passion this woman is bringing to my heart and life. And she always tells me she is drawn to me for some reason and cannot quit me. I can’t go to her and tell her, let’s stop, again. Why? Because I’ve done that 3-4 times! Can you understand that I KNOW it’s unethical. It’s been a full year and I can’t simply quit this woman! She’s always on my mind.

So the two questions here. The main one, wth should I do? Quitting her would destroy me. And I’ve tried so many times. Each time went worse than the last lol. Well, in terms of progress. And also the sex puppet question 2 paragraphs up.