Let me start by saying that I am a recently divorced 45 y/o woman with 2 teen children and I have been very attracted to my sister's husband since I met him. Until last year I had made my peace with it and decided to never act on these feelings out of love for my sister. Also they were deeply in love so I could not do that to them, no matter how hard it was sometimes. However, last year my sister tragically passed away, leaving my 30 y/o brother-in-law alone. Our family helped him get through it, but he soon moved to a new apartment and as far as I know he is still single.

Since my divorce, those feelings I had for him have gotten even stronger. Especially since the last time I saw him. He's such a sweet person and our family loves him. Plus he is gorgeous. I feel terrible for feeling this way, but at the same time I feel I should tell him how I feel. I don't expect him to reciprocate, I just feel the need to tell him. So I have decided to take it upon myself to visit him alone and talk to him. If by any chance he does reciprocate, I honestly don't know what I would do.

UPDATE 1: First of all, thanks for your suggestions and advice. It really helped a lot. Okay, so I came here to my BIL's apartment. I came over by surprise and his place is about 4 hours from where I live. My biggest concern was that I would intrude in his work since he works from home. But when I got there, he greeted me with open arms as always. I noticed right away that he's been working out more since I last saw him (which makes my feelings even stronger).

After being there for a while and just talking about other things and my sister, he asked me why I was there and I told him that I just wanted to check up on him and see if he needed anything. He seemed touched by that and well, he really made me feel at home. I suggested I should look for a hotel to stay at, but he insisted I stay since he had the whole week off. Since I'd never been to this town, he offered to show me around this week. Yesterday my heart was going off the charts because of all his attention—he even cooked for me. I haven't told him yet why I am really there, but I will as soon as I feel it's the right moment.

UPDATE 2: You are NOT going to believe what happened last night! We had a nice day, went to eat some Chinese food, came back to his apartment, and just hung out in his living room sipping wine. He noticed that I was kinda tired from walking, so he actually offered to give me a foot rub. I got really turned on and couldn't take it anymore. So I slowly started to ask him if he ever thought he would ever date again?

He said: "Date? Sure. Marry? Probably not." According to him, he thinks it would be too painful to ever remarry again no matter how much he liked someone. He actually did admit that even though he misses his wife every day, he does miss human closeness. Then I finally told him the reason I was actually there. I told him that I have always been attracted to him but never acted on it for obvious reasons, and that I didn't come here expecting him to reciprocate—I just wanted him to know and finally get it off my chest.

After that, he paused for about 5 seconds. Then he said: "In that case, I think you should know that even though I love my wife and always will, I have been thinking a lot about you. You were the one that helped me really get through this. Frankly, I found myself really attracted to you, but I never thought you would be attracted to me too."

After that, we kinda chatted a little more about the situation. Little by little, I started to feel him caress my feet. The sensation was driving me crazy. After a while of talking and me biting the hell out of my lip, we kissed. Kissing turned into making out, and making out eventually led to me riding him on his couch. Best sex I ever had. We spent the rest of the night in his bed just doing it until like 4am and eventually fell asleep. When we woke up, we decided to go for breakfast and we talked things over. We both agreed that for now we'll just keep things physical and enjoy the rest of the week together. I'll keep you posted, but I regret nothing.