My wife cheated on me with my son's Baseball coach
Wife just told me she's been seeing someone for the past 6 months. Been married 8 years. 5 & 6 year old kids. I've been madly in love the whole time as she's an AMAZING person and mother. Literally keeps the family together and is just... spectacular. Truly.
She was showing me something on her phone and I saw a text come in saying "I love you more!" and I asked who it was. She explained it was a coworker that she's been helping out and I thought nothing more of it. That day we had a lot of family over to celebrate our daughters birthday and it was a wonderful time. Some stayed overnight so the next day after a wonderful weekend getting company out and putting the kids down my wife said she needs to tell me something.
Well that "I love you more" was not from her coworker. (Well at least not the one she explained it was, but I'm not sure because she's not sharing any details regarding the other person). She told me that 6 months ago when I was in a dark place and have since come out of (no drugs except weed and booze, which we both partake) she found love in someone else. Love I wasn't providing in our relationship.
"If I have feelings for someone else, I'm not sure that I should be married. It's not fair to you or me. I never planned for this to happen, but now that it's a reality, we need to deal with it." She explained that she wasn't looking for someone else, it just happened. A friendship that bloomed into more. She's also told me that they have not been intimate, and explained that as a sexual relationship.
She says life is too short, and she wants to be happy. She's proud of all the changes I've made and I've always been a good dad, but I've grown into a great daddy and my kids and I have never been closer. But she wants to be 100% happy and the changes I've made haven't gotten her there, so she's seeking elsewhere.
Update - 5 Months Later
She was caught by me catching a text at my daughter's birthday party come in that said 'i love you more!'. Because we had all our family and friends there, I didn't push it. Later the next day she came clean and said that she's been in a relationship for 6 months. She refused to tell me who it was with or what they've done. I was devastated. Absolutely destroyed. Still am.
So we spent some time apart and she continued her relationship with him. I did some digging in the meantime and looking at the phone records it was our son's coach. I called her out on it and she still continued the relationship. I saw a lawyer and he told me to not leave the house or the kids and either try to work it out or time to leave and to see a therapist. My therapist says she's a narcissist and that I should protect myself, protect my kids and run.
Come December, she said she had cut it off with him and wanted to try again. I gave her all the effort in the world, but I don't feel like her soul's been in it. She's not overcompensating or has even truly apologized for what she's done. I've also gotten access to her photos (I'm the admin on the family Google account) and she doesn't know that I've seen all I have.
She framed a picture of him and had it at her desk, I found naked selfies she's sent him that I haven't even received, I found a picture of his naked ass in our Beach Condo which I thought was natural space as we were not sharing it during our time apart. I slept on those same sheets. I know that she was at a fancy restaurant with someone else, she screenshots all these deep love quotes that I know aren't about me....so much that loves rent free in my head.
She has a white bracelet with one black bead that she now wears every day. I've called her out on it. She lied once and said it was from her mom, and up to last week said well my best friend has the matching one. Well, her affair partner wears an all black one with one white bead. I know what that represents.
So now to current day, I can't place it find anything that suggests that she's still with him, but I know she used snapchat often and is secretive with her phone. Whenever I bring up the affair this blows up because I said I'd try to not bring it up and get over it, but I simply can't. Her parents (mom and stepfather) both cheated on their spouses for each other and support my wife and both call and text me that it's unfair that I bring up her affair. The pictures of him live rent free in my head almost constantly. I can't get past what she's done no matter how hard I try. I just don't understand and am an emotional train wreck.